Tuesday, January 04, 2005

What this country really needs?

Subject: The ARMY

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil the Army is
better than working on the farm - tell them to get into the Army quick before
the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow in settling down at first, because you don't get outta
bed until 6am. I like sleeping in now, but all you do before brekky is make
ya bed and shine your boots and clean your uniform. No cows to milk, no calves
to feed, no feed to stack-nothing.

Men must shave, but its not so bad, coz there's hot water and a light
to see what ya doing. Breakfast has cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no
kangaroo steaks or possum stew. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that
time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' just
like walking to the windmill in the back paddock.

This will kill Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for
shooting- dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's head and it
doesn't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our bull
got their cow pregnant before the Easter Show. Alls ya gotta do is make
yourself comfortable and hit the target - piece of cake. You don't even load
your own cartridges - they comes in boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself
against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.

Then ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful
coz they break easy - its not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and
Boori and Steve all at once like we do. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and
it looks
like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this
guy from
5RAR - he's 6 foot 8 and 13 stone and I'm 5 foot six and seven stone,
but I fought to the end.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before
word gets around how good it is.

Your loving daughter,


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